There is a gun company in the Czech Republic called Laugo Arms which has just announced a new pistol for the American market which is chambered for the standard 9mm round and costs – ready? – five…thousand…bucks.  No sh#t Sherlock. Five big ones and they say in Godfather II, or maybe it was in Godfather III or whatever Mafia movie I was watching last night. 

              Guns have been coming out of this part of Eastern Europe for decades, the most well-company, CZ, has been shipping their handguns and shotguns to the United States since we first allowed imports from the Soviet bloc, and CZ guns were also sneaking into the country when there was an official imports ban.  Laugo has been around for a number of years, basically operating as a design shop rather than actually manufacturing guns. Now they want to get into the American market with their own gun. But is the gun worth five thousand bucks?

              The company says the gun, called the Laugo Alien, a name which I guess has something to do with Zombies and all that other extra-terrestrial stuff. Is a wholly new, indeed revolutionary design. And what makes it revolutionary, according to the company’s hype, is the placement of the barrel fixed to the frame. Pistol barrels usually ride underneath the slide and are connected to the frame through a locking device that both holds the barrel in place but also lets it float back and forth as the gun is fired and then a new round slips into the breech.

              Because the barrel is fixed to the frame, the only part of the gun which moves during recoil is the slide, and if you make the slide both narrow and lightweight by mixing the steel with an alloy, this will reduce what is called the ‘felt recoil’ every time the slide ejects a spent shell and slams home a new round.  Get it?  Don’t worry, I’ll explain what all this gobbledygook means right now.

              What it means is that this gun can be shot more quickly and more accurately because the shooter doesn’t have to bring the gun back down to the line of sight after a round is shot off. So in theory, this will make the gun more accurate and allow the shooter to deliver more firepower in a briefer period of time.

              Does this make the Alien worth five mil? Well to begin with, this product certainly isn’t being aimed (pardon the pun) at the law enforcement market because cops don’t like to spend money on guns. Pensions, medical plans, the widow and orphans fund – these are where law enforcement dollars go – not for guns.

              So obviously, the owners of Laugo are hoping that there are some civilian gun-owners out there who are willing to pony up five thousand bucks in order to say that they are the only guy at the Rod and Gun Club who owns one of these guns. Because believe it or not, if you really think you need a gun for self-defense, you don’t carry a pistol that will shoot ten shots in five seconds or less. You need to carry a gun that will deliver just one, accurate round.

              Most, if not nearly all serious assaults begin to occur at a distance between perpetrator and victim of 15 feet or less. Most serious assaults, particularly gun assaults, occur in 2 seconds or less. How many shots is someone going to get off in 2 seconds or less?  How many shooters have enough skill, training and muscle memory to hit any target, particularly a moving target at a distance of 15 feet?

              Know what they say about the gun business? Want to make a million dollars in the gun business? Start with two million. I hope that Laugo Arms has two million sitting in the bank.